What Really Matter For Success (Parents’ Edition)

In this blog post, I want to explain the concept of GRIT in more detail and the important implications it has for us as parents in how we can support our children to become successful in their lives. But before I go into more detail about how it can help, let’s have a look at this concept and where it originated.

Grit = Passion & Perseverance For Long-Term Goals

The term GRIT was coined by Dr. Angela Duckworth, a psychology professor from the University of Pennsylvania, and she defined it as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals”.

GRIT is a reaction to one of the bigger misconceptions we still have in society, i.e. the belief that excellence and success are grounded in a person’s intelligence and talent.
 
Intelligence Is (Not) Important For Success?

Traditionally, it was assumed that intelligence (as in IQ) is one of the most important predictors in determining a person’s future success. Over time, however, more and more people have caught on to the fact that this might not be the whole truth.

Especially parents are generally more aware of this, as they experience it first-hand. They know that intelligence is just one variable in how “successful” their children are going to be. But in the past, there was no (scientific) proof that intelligence is not as important for success as we are made to believe. We had to rely on personal assumptions, observations and beliefs.
 
GRIT (Predicts) Future Success

With her research on GRIT, Dr. Angela Duckworth was able to show that intelligence and talent are helpful, but that another combination of factors can actually serve as a much more reliable predictor of a person’s (FUTURE) success.

She discovered that there are two factors that hold far more weight than intelligence or talent, which she called GRIT. She defined GRIT as the combination of “passion and perseverance for long-term goals”.
 
Where Does GRIT Come From?

To understand GRIT better and the impact it can have on your children’s future, it helps to know where it originated.

During her tenure as a U.S. middle school teacher, Dr. Angela Duckworth decided to look closer into this misconception when she noticed that the students with the highest IQ and best test scores were not always the best performers and the students who were the best performers were not always the ones with the highest IQ and best test scores.

She was sure that it had something to do with the students’ motivation and wanted to get to the bottom of this. She went back to study psychology at university and did numerous studies with participants in a variety of high-performance environments to figure out what exactly it was that made some of us more successful than others.
 
Dr. Angela Duckworth proved that the most reliable predictor of a person’s future success is their level of GRIT. Intelligence, talent or other factors were not.

She went back to high school to test if her findings could also serve as an answer to the question that originally got her started on this journey. She wanted to find out if GRIT could predict which students in a year group would later graduate and which students would not. The results were the same, GRIT was the only reliable predictor, all other factors that she examined, like a student’s intelligence, demographics, test scores or grades, were not.

Unfortunately, the traditional view that talent and intelligence matter most persists in the educational systems around the world. The majority of students are still separated by their level of “academic intelligence” and their (future) success is judged by standardized test scores and the grades they achieve.

And despite this, by having the knowledge of what really matters, parents can have a huge impact on their children’s development.

Combining Passion & Perseverance

In order to fully understand GRIT, you need to know two important details about this concept:

1. GRIT is a measure of excellence and defined as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals”. If you are not (truly) passionate about the “thing(s)” you do, but you work hard and persevere, you can surely become very good at it (them) and at best maybe even great (which of course is also valuable and sometimes necessary). BUT without passion, it will be impossible for you to become exceptional and extraordinary. And as a consequence, you won’t be able to use your aptitudes, abilities, skills and personality-based strengths fully to your advantage.
2. GRIT is not about intensity. It does not mean that you work for 14 hours a day for a week and then stop. It is about consistency, about working on YOUR goals (no on someone else’s) over the course of weeks, months, years, decades or even a lifetime and about not giving up no matter what happens.

Effort Counts Twice

Dr. Angela Duckworth’s research was not about finding the one variable that predicts “everything” but about working on the common misconception and understanding that intelligence and talent are the most important variables in the success equation.

Her research shows that effort plays a major role in what even talented people can achieve. She found this particularly true while interviewing some of the most successful personalities of our time for her studies. In achieving excellence, she found another formula to be predictive for success:

Talent x Effort = Skill
Skill x Effort = Achievement

Talent is the basis, but you need to invest effort to develop skills. And once you have developed (outstanding) skills, you need to invest even more effort, which over time then transforms your (outstanding) skills into (outstanding) achievement. Effort counts twice.
This is essential to keep in mind because we vastly underestimate how much effort, deliberate practice and time-on-task really determine ultimate performance.

Summary

If you want to summarize the finding about GRIT in one sentence, it would probably sound something like this:

“To achieve excellence, you want to look for the perfect combination, i.e. to have talent in something that plays to your innate abilities and strengths and that you are passionate about,and then to invest your time and effort into getting better at it.”

Advice For Parents

There are four pieces of advice that can help parents in applying this concept with their children:

1. Having a better understanding about your children’s individual strengths and how important they are on their path to success. If you are interested in finding out more about this, have a look at my blog post “A Bit Better Than Everyone Else – How To Find Your (Hidden) Strengths”.
2. Understanding that success values are person-specific, there is no right or wrong. Your success values as parents might not be the same as those of your children. Accepting this is very important in their development and in how you can support them to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. To find out more about this, have a look at this blog post “What Are Your Success Values”.
3. Understanding the variable “passion” and how it plays a central role in the equation. “Convincing” your son to play soccer and your daughter to practice ballet because YOU think this is best for them, will not lead to excellence (or enjoyment). And insisting that they need to finish what they have started so they can learn perseverance, even after they have made the decision that something is not for them, might not be the best decision. If you want to have your children realize their full potential and support them to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, you need to give them the chance to try things out and to make their own experiences so they can discover what exactly it is that they are passionate about. And once they have found something they love, then to support them when things get tough and to motivate them to keep going when they experience setback and disappointments. Maybe it is exactly the other way round and your son will achieve excellence in ballet and your daughter in soccer.
4. Leading By Example: From the beginning of their lives until their teenage years, you are the most important role model for your children. It is a great responsibility, take it seriously. If you are passionate about what you do, then you set the best example for your children to follow in  your footsteps.    

What Is “Passion”?

The question that remains, and something for which Dr.Angela Duckworth does not provide an answer, because this was not part of her research, is how we can find our “passion(s)” or know what we are “passionate” about.

The late Sir Ken Robinson, a creativity expert and the author of the most viewed TED-Talk of all time “Do Schools Kill Creativity” gives interesting insights and advice on how to find an answer to this question. But this will be the topic of another blog post.

Sources:

Duckworth, A. (2017). Grit: Why passion and resilience are the secrets to success. London: Vermilion.

https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_grit_the_power_of_passion_and_perseverance?language=en